So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
