The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
