I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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