The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
