Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
