He disabled his match.com account in front of me
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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