His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
