we're blogging at a bar
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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