i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
