Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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