is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
