just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize