You made me cry and you don't even care
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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