Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
