I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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