windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
