then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
