I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
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