I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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