i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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