I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
