whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Randomize
