very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I CAN MOONWALK!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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