She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I think people are normalizing furries
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
