Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
