great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
