Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
