Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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