i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
