I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
