im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
