We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
