perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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