is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I wish I only lived at night.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
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