And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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