I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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