At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
