Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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