you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
