Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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