Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
