I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
