You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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