What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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