you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
