piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
