im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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