I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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