But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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