So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just want nice things and good sex
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
