please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
