i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
