dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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