have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
