I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
