Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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