just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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