why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
