Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
